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Letters To The Editor 08/17/23

(Thoughts? Submit a letter to the editor here.)

Abolish The Income Tax – Who Needs It When We Have The Magical Money Printer?

I am writing to share a revolutionary idea that might just change the way we think about taxes. Brace yourselves, for I propose the abolition of income tax. Yes, you heard me right. Why bother with this archaic and mundane system of collecting funds from hardworking citizens when we have the wondrous Federal Reserve conjuring money out of thin air?

I mean, who needs a budget or fiscal responsibility when we can just print endless amounts of money and solve all our financial woes?

The Biden Administration has already magically printed 75 billion to send to the Ukraine. If our “elected” officials can just print that money out of thin air – why do they need any more from us?

Imagine a world where you can work to your heart’s content without ever worrying about the chunk of your income being siphoned away by the government. With the Federal Reserve’s magical money printer at our disposal, we can fund every project, initiative, and grand scheme without batting an eyelash. Roads, schools, healthcare, helicopters for the Taliban, another 100 billion for foreign nations, and more – they can all be funded by the mystical press of a button. Why save for the future or practice fiscal restraint when we can just rely on the endless generosity of the money-printing elves at the Federal Reserve?

But wait, some naysayers might argue that printing endless amounts of money could lead to inflation. Pshaw! Inflation is just a myth perpetuated by economists who clearly lack a sense of humor. I mean, who cares if prices go up a little bit? We’ll all just be millionaires anyway, and isn’t that the American Dream in a nutshell? They can just fire up the printer and roll us off some more of those twenty dollar bills.

Sure, there might be a few critics who point out that abolishing income tax could result in a severe imbalance in wealth distribution, potentially leading to societal unrest. But let’s not forget that we can simply print more money to solve that problem too!

The beauty of this plan lies in its simplicity.

Income inequality? Just print money and give it to the less fortunate.

Homelessness? Print more money and build houses for everyone.

Climate change? Well, maybe the Federal Reserve can print a couple of extra trees to fix that too.

Because our brave and competent leaders can just print more money, there is no need to worry about how much stuff costs. This is why the U.S. Department of Defense could purchase a toilet seat for $640 (really, Google it) and a hammer for $435. The magic money printer also funded a “Cow Flatulence Study” in 2016 by the Environmental Protection Agency. It may sound silly, but the magical printer pays for it, so who cares!

In conclusion, my dear readers, let’s set aside our antiquated notions of fiscal responsibility and sensible taxation. Why burden ourselves with tedious debates about government budgets and economic stability when we have a money printer that can grant our every wish? Abolish income tax, embrace the magic of the Federal Reserve’s endless money supply, and let the good times roll. Cool $100 dollar bills for everyone!

Yours sarcastically,

Bill Edwards

(A Believer in the Magic Money Machine)


Opinion: Signs Of  The Tribulation

Readers have often asked me how we’ll know whether we’re in the end times. Would you like to know what to look for, specifically in the seven years of tribulation prophesied in the Bible? Let’s take a look-see.

The Revelation to John foretells three cycles of judgment, each cycle having seven parts. The first cycle begins with the Lamb of God opening seven seals of a scroll in heaven. The second cycle follows with the blowing of seven trumpets each bringing its own judgment. And, the third cycle describes seven angels pouring out seven bowls of God’s wrath from heaven onto the earth.

The first step in discipling a child is getting the child’s attention. In the first two cycles of judgments, God is trying to get our attention. For example, after the blowing of the sixth trumpet John writes, “And the rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands, so as not to worship demons, and the idols of gold and of silver and of brass and of stone and of wood, which can neither see nor hear nor walk; they did not repent of their murders nor of their sorceries nor of their immorality nor of their thefts.” Those surviving the plagues of the first and second cycles will not repent or change their minds about God. Of all creatures, we are the most stubborn!

The first seven judgments when the seals are broken include four horsemen, believers being martyred, severe physical disturbances, and breaking the seventh seal initiates the seven trumpets cycle.

The first horseman in chapter 6 is riding a white horse, carrying a bow but no arrows, and wearing a crown. He goes into the world conquering. The second horseman is riding a red horse, and taking peace from the earth with a great sword making men slay one another. The third horseman rides a black horse and carries scales to measure the lack of wheat, barley, oil and wine indicating famine. The fourth horseman is named Death and has authority to destroy. Together the horsemen will kill a fourth of the world’s population. So, here’s the deal. When it’s time God will get our attention in very big and loud ways. The judgments will be worldwide phenomena. No one knows when the tribulation is coming, but God will get our attention when it’s time.

Daniel L. Gardner is a columnist who lives in Starkville, MS. You may contact him at

(Thoughts? Submit a letter to the editor here.)

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